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About the Blog

As I’ve mentioned throughout this site, I’m very passionate about what I do. It is a driving force in my life, and is highly fulfilling. As a result, I tend to talk about it. At length. To everyone I know. I suspect that this blog will be no exception.

Hopefully, my quirky interests and odd sense of humor won’t confuse/infuriate you. If they do, well, I won’t be offended if you decide to read the musings of someone more interesting than little ol’ me.


State of the Watson / Portfolio Updates

2.21.11, 10:36am
Freelancing, Web Design, Web Development,

Vector? Raster? Huh buh WHA?

7.23.10, 03:25pm
Technical Lessons, The Internet, Web Design,

Office Party! or I Heart West Seattle

7.7.10, 11:28am
Freelancing, Ikea, Office Issues, West Seattle,

The Longest Blog Post In Watson Design History

5.27.10, 08:56pm
Freelancing, Web Design,

It’s time for a change, y’all

3.2.10, 10:32am
Comic Nerdiness, Tech, Web Design, Webcomics,

Hourly Comic Day

2.2.10, 09:03pm
The Internet, Webcomics,

She’s ALIIIIVE!!

1.19.10, 03:53pm
Blogging/Writing, Print Design, Tech, Unreasonable Expectations, Web Design,

Zee Queen Bitch Ees Dead

11.13.09, 04:18pm
Awareness, Environment, Philosophy, The Internet,

I’m back in the saddle again

11.11.09, 11:54am
Blogging/Writing, Environment, NaBloPoMo, Seattle Weather,

Just keep swimming…

11.8.09, 11:24pm
Blogging/Writing, NaBloPoMo, Philosophy,

Zee Queen Bitch Ees Dead

11.13.09, 04:18pm | Awareness, Environment, Philosophy, The Internet,

About a month ago, I was out drinking with some old coworkers of mine (the job is old, not the coworkers). I don’t know how we got on the topic, but we were talking about “drama.” I was enlightening them to the fact that I’m actually very good at stirring up drama, and can be quite the drama queen. They didn’t believe me. “Whaaaat? That’s not possible,” they laughed. “Oh, totally,” I replied. “You should see me with my other circle of friends. I’m such a queen of social drama. Right, hon?” My husband, Trevor, jumped to my defense. “I wouldn’t call you a drama queen,” he said. “You do have a knack for stirring up… excitement, though.”

Part of the reason my work buddies were surprised by this news is that I’m not a particularly “dramatic” person IRL (that’s In Real Life, meaning my personality outside of the internet). I can’t handle confrontations in person, which is probably why folks think I’m so nice. Where I truly excel at creating drama is online. Blog comments, e-mails, and tweets are the medium I use to exhibit biting, passive-aggressive behavior. I am the online drama mastah!

Of course, I’m not actually proud of this. Believe it or not, every time I lash out at somebody online I regret it. Sometimes it’s within an hour, sometimes it takes a day or two, but I always feel like a tremendous ass afterwards. Then it’s feelings of guilt and damage control for the next week or so, all the while reminding myself to never, ever be so judgmental again. And that usually works… for anywhere from 3-6 months. Late one night, probably while reading something that’s got my holier-than-thou senses tingling, I attack like an drama-cheetah on steroids, and wham, bam, I do it again. Rinse, repeat.

Last June, a month before my wedding, the bitch-switch flipped again. I laid into a “friend” of mine via e-mail (the air quotes are because I rarely treated this person like a friend). She’d recently gotten married herself, eloped actually, and I’d convinced myself that she was somehow sullying the concept of marriage with how she’d gone about it. I’d been looking down my nose at her for weeks, and a recent blog entry convinced me to express my opinions. I went off, going on and on about how she wasn’t taking marriage seriously, and what the hell was wrong with her, and travesty! shame! horror!, etc. To say that I was a complete and utter dick would be putting it nicely.

She responded as one might expect, saying essentially “what the hell is your problem, bitch” in a very cold and angry tone that was 100% justified. Reading that e-mail was like the slap in the face that I needed. I re-read my e-mail and was completely shocked by the appalling bullshit I’d written. Here I was, leveling judgment after judgment on someone who was only doing what I would be doing a month later: loving someone, and pledging my life to them.

Even though I apologized profusely (which she accepted, shockingly), the audacity of my behavior shook me more deeply than anything else ever has. I felt like the worst scum on the planet, and I was finally aware that my brief moment of self-righteous satisfaction was hurtful, selfish, and never worth the hangover of self-loathing that would color my days afterward.

Sometimes, you need to see the ugliest parts of yourself in such a painful contrast in order to realize that you truly, honestly, want to change.

These days, I still find myself judging people. It happens, it’s natural, and every person I know does it, to one degree or another. The difference now is that how I treat that judgment. Step one is to take notice of what I’m doing. “You’re judging that person,” I say to myself. “You don’t really know anything about them, or what they’re going through, and you’re sitting here, judging them like it’s going out of fashion. Stop it.”

Step two is to stop myself from the usual course of action (leaving a comment, writing an e-mail, etc) with this single question: will my comment help them, or me? If I’m only commenting because I want to lecture, don’t do it. If I’m commenting because it might legitimately help this person, proceed with caution. Be caring and compassionate, not high-and-mighty and “right” (whatever the hell that is).

If I may stand on my soapbox for what I think is a good cause, allow me to say this: If you’re moved to speak out of true concern for this person, show that feeling obviously, out-loud, and right on your sleeve. But keep your judgments to yourself. Judgments hurt two people: you and the person being judged. They don’t always come back to bite you in the ass, but they’ll hurt you regardless.

The same idea can be applied to environmental thinking. So much of what I gained from my last truly epic drama experience was awareness, the awareness that I could be really hurtful to another person. The same is true of sustainability. The first step towards becoming environmentally-minded is to become aware of the impact you’re making on our planet. That awareness can first be achieved by education (reading books, articles, etc), and then by examining your own habits. In fact, the reason we’re in this mess in the first place is due to a global lack of awareness. We act, use resources, and create waste, all without even realizing that we’re impacting our home.

Awareness is the key to bring about the crucial change we so desperately need, and permanently change our way of living. So this weekend, think about your impact, your habits, and consider how what you’re doing may impact the world around you.

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